Most people are painfully aware of the horrific events that took place in a Aurora, Colorado movie theater Friday morning during The Dark Knight Rises. There are a lot of questions surrounding the incident, including questions about the movie-goers themselves. I still have an honest question despite the tragedy: who in the world brings an infant to a movie theater? Especially at midnight, and Batman? I don't get that, and honestly it irks me in ways. I have a two and a half year old, and I wouldn't bring her to a movie theater at all because she wouldn't be able to sit still throughout the whole movie, whether it's an hour and a half or closer to three. It's straight up disrespectful to the other patrons.
Not the point, while there are many questions, the most important one is concerning the shooter. What was his motive? Yeah, his university ID picture makes him look psychotic, but it was very planned out. I just recently read that before his arrest he told police he was the Joker... The senseless violence suddenly makes sense with that statement. I am a Joker and Harley Quinn fanatic, they're my favorite villains, and at times I've thought about senseless crime sprees, but this... This is absolutely too much.
His booby-trapped apartment is what scares me the most. Equipped with trip wires and superior explosives, the bomb squad isn't certain that they'll be able to defuse it. They might have to detonate it... With such a well-thought out terrorist plot, it begs the question: Why? It has to be a psychological thing, because I cannot see or understand the reason you would murder people watching a movie... Whether you're the Joker or not, there's a bigger plan. He was obsessed with Batman, and more specifically, the more often than not blurred lines of sanity of the villains.
It's a tragedy. The work of a brilliant director and brilliant A-list actors means much less than the lives of people who were out for a good night, but it's certainly also sad that their work has been taken and misused by a homeland terrorist. The meaning of the movie - Good triumphs even when hope is hopeless - has been almost erased. Can somebody tell me how the good guy triumphed on this one? People lost their lives, loved ones, and feelings of safety. This changes things, and yet Batman is nowhere to be seen. His story is tragic, and now there's a real life tragedy using Batman as it's base.
I wish we had the Knight.
Molotovs
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Zombies, Bath Salts, and the Generally Deranged
The rumored impending zombie apocalypse kind of scares me, but I'm rational and sane enough to know that people are just crazy and drugs are usually involved. So, in a sense, while my inner horror movie fanatic is screaming "Grab the shotgun!" I'm outwardly rational about the situation. Let's be serious, zombies? Come on, it's more likely to be a cocktail of existing diseases who came together to destroy everything, and even this is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. On the flip side, the horror movie fanatic insists I remain vigilant and aim specifically for the head.
So, curiously, I google the term "zombie apocalypse" and begin to soak in the most recent in cannibalism news. Much to my horror, there's more than I expected, which begin to link to stories about horrific child abuse... Which stems to pedophilia and child porn rings. Which then led to politics. All the evil things in the world right there on the national news.
Ugh.
Then I think about my hometown and how much worse it's gotten. We just finished with a high profile pedophilia scandal, a generous amount of the people I used to know are doing heinous things, the drugs are rampant and getting harder... The people are desperate, which is something not very characteristic of where I'm from and it scares the bejeezus out of me. You might ask how I met these people, and I would tell you high school. These kids are parents now, selling drugs and having more kids, and stealing, and for the love of God, they've even formed a quasi cult.
I see the world changing before my eyes, getting worse. The news is a horrible place to turn if you want to be optimistic, but I don't even know if I feel informed. I don't think anything could restore my faith in humanity at this point.
Shit.
Molotovs
So, curiously, I google the term "zombie apocalypse" and begin to soak in the most recent in cannibalism news. Much to my horror, there's more than I expected, which begin to link to stories about horrific child abuse... Which stems to pedophilia and child porn rings. Which then led to politics. All the evil things in the world right there on the national news.
Ugh.
Then I think about my hometown and how much worse it's gotten. We just finished with a high profile pedophilia scandal, a generous amount of the people I used to know are doing heinous things, the drugs are rampant and getting harder... The people are desperate, which is something not very characteristic of where I'm from and it scares the bejeezus out of me. You might ask how I met these people, and I would tell you high school. These kids are parents now, selling drugs and having more kids, and stealing, and for the love of God, they've even formed a quasi cult.
I see the world changing before my eyes, getting worse. The news is a horrible place to turn if you want to be optimistic, but I don't even know if I feel informed. I don't think anything could restore my faith in humanity at this point.
Shit.
Molotovs
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Introduction to Defeat
It's hard to be a young mother, and it's hard to be a young wife, and of course a young adult. See, we consider ourselves unlucky and cursed when we're teenagers, but as soon as we face the realities of life we long for those days of carefree living. Hell, I know I do.
I don't know where else to turn to disclose my most personal feelings, where better to remain at least semi-anonymous and be able to heave the crushing weight off my chest than the internet? The internet has always given me a sense of freedom and confidence in disclosing such things, but I also know full well that it leaves me open to judgment from some of the harshest critics. I don't care. See, one of the fabulous things about the internet is that nobody really knows you, and can of course judge without hesitation because of that simple fact. It's meaningless, but so meaningful at the same time.
When I said I was a young wife and mother, it means that I'm inexperienced when it comes to life and have the tendency to let my emotions and my stress-triggers eat at me. I'm 21, it's bound to happen when you're a fiery, passionate person. I am, I'm passionate about lots of things! I'm passionate about raising my daughter, I'm passionate about my beliefs, and I'm passionate about my future... But recently, I don't see myself having much of one.
Right now, I'm working a dead-end minimum wage food industry job that I hate passionately (there's that fiery personality again) to support the lives of myself, my two year old daughter, and my husband. I rarely get the forty hours that I desperately need to do so, and I'm beginning to fall behind on my rent and utilities and my husband only works fifteen hours a week, leftovers from when he dropped to part time to go to school. Realistically, our financial situation is grim. We've had the bare minimum of food in our house for the last month, and I've been skipping meals to make sure everyone gets enough. I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I don't know how much more I can take.
While I'm normally able to push my issues to the back burner while I'm at work, since I moved, I've felt like crying every single day. Customers push me, co-workers hate me for reasons I don't understand or even know, my best friend/manager has grown so distant that it feels like we're not even really friends anymore, and my boss keeps telling me to be an adult. Even adults get flustered, even adults feel like they're drowning, and they may even feel like it would be easier just to see the end.
I have an interview for a higher paying, guaranteed forty, full-time job on Monday that I'm really excited for and I put my best friend down as a reference. He's implied that he'll not give me a good one for my recently short fuse at my current position. I really try to hide the fact that my life is falling to pieces, but how easy do you honestly think that is? When you're worried about feeding and clothing your kid, how easy do you think it would be to snap at a particularly hard customer? It's really easy. I hate being condescended more than anything, and I hate being treated like I'm lower than dirt, and oftentimes, customers of food service do treat the employees like that. Under my current pressure, and my husbands lack of willingness to get off his ass, make a resume, and get a job in the field he just went to school for, I can't help but snap. I can't help despising every aspect of my daily life aside from my daughter, and I can't help the tears from falling. It's so fucking hard to be everything that everyone wants and needs you to be, it's so hard to keep from cracking under the pressure.
It's so sad, I was really looking forward to this job and the opportunity to actually make it through the month for once, and that opportunity may be stripped from me in as little as a second because somebody who calls themselves my friend can't come down off his pedestal to see why I'm hurting so badly.
Shitty, huh?
Moltovs
I don't know where else to turn to disclose my most personal feelings, where better to remain at least semi-anonymous and be able to heave the crushing weight off my chest than the internet? The internet has always given me a sense of freedom and confidence in disclosing such things, but I also know full well that it leaves me open to judgment from some of the harshest critics. I don't care. See, one of the fabulous things about the internet is that nobody really knows you, and can of course judge without hesitation because of that simple fact. It's meaningless, but so meaningful at the same time.
When I said I was a young wife and mother, it means that I'm inexperienced when it comes to life and have the tendency to let my emotions and my stress-triggers eat at me. I'm 21, it's bound to happen when you're a fiery, passionate person. I am, I'm passionate about lots of things! I'm passionate about raising my daughter, I'm passionate about my beliefs, and I'm passionate about my future... But recently, I don't see myself having much of one.
Right now, I'm working a dead-end minimum wage food industry job that I hate passionately (there's that fiery personality again) to support the lives of myself, my two year old daughter, and my husband. I rarely get the forty hours that I desperately need to do so, and I'm beginning to fall behind on my rent and utilities and my husband only works fifteen hours a week, leftovers from when he dropped to part time to go to school. Realistically, our financial situation is grim. We've had the bare minimum of food in our house for the last month, and I've been skipping meals to make sure everyone gets enough. I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I don't know how much more I can take.
While I'm normally able to push my issues to the back burner while I'm at work, since I moved, I've felt like crying every single day. Customers push me, co-workers hate me for reasons I don't understand or even know, my best friend/manager has grown so distant that it feels like we're not even really friends anymore, and my boss keeps telling me to be an adult. Even adults get flustered, even adults feel like they're drowning, and they may even feel like it would be easier just to see the end.
I have an interview for a higher paying, guaranteed forty, full-time job on Monday that I'm really excited for and I put my best friend down as a reference. He's implied that he'll not give me a good one for my recently short fuse at my current position. I really try to hide the fact that my life is falling to pieces, but how easy do you honestly think that is? When you're worried about feeding and clothing your kid, how easy do you think it would be to snap at a particularly hard customer? It's really easy. I hate being condescended more than anything, and I hate being treated like I'm lower than dirt, and oftentimes, customers of food service do treat the employees like that. Under my current pressure, and my husbands lack of willingness to get off his ass, make a resume, and get a job in the field he just went to school for, I can't help but snap. I can't help despising every aspect of my daily life aside from my daughter, and I can't help the tears from falling. It's so fucking hard to be everything that everyone wants and needs you to be, it's so hard to keep from cracking under the pressure.
It's so sad, I was really looking forward to this job and the opportunity to actually make it through the month for once, and that opportunity may be stripped from me in as little as a second because somebody who calls themselves my friend can't come down off his pedestal to see why I'm hurting so badly.
Shitty, huh?
Moltovs
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